my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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