I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Dear god my vagina.
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