We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
