What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
