do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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