She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
