what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
