If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
