I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
