When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
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