my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
