you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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