My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
