i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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