They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
