We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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