Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
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