Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
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Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
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Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize