so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
she pinky promised me she was 18
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
