Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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