Don't you send me to vm
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Just high enough for therapy.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
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