this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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