I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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