Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
