do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize