I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
