I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
