After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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