Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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