I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
be right there i have to get my cape
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
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