is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
