Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
