I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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