I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
there's paper in my vomit.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
