And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
