no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
