I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
