what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
