we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
