Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
