You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
