they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
