So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
