First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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