alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
i now understand why vodka
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
