six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
