You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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