HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Randomize
