youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize