we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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