Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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