There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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