i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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