Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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