oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
