You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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