I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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