I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
