My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
