I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
